ah, i'm feeling better. you know how i know? well, one of the reasons anyway. i'm listening to new music. and actually enjoying it. like blasting it in the car and not feeling antsy like i have to change it to something familiar. before when i heard new music i was just kind of like, eh, this is cool, i'll remember it for later when i'm feeling better. but now, i'm actually enjoying it. for the past few months i've just been listening to everything old and familiar. blasting tons of afi like listening to all the songs of my past will somehow make it 2005 again and nothing will have ever happened. but life doesn't work like that, does it?

annnnnnyyyyywaaaaaay. don't worry about the layout change. it's only for vampire week. i'm not going full-on goth for you or something. i just thought it'd be nice for our little celebration of the undead.

just a few updates on my life. yesterday was rainy. so i saw two movies. first, i saw orphan by myself. that movie is twisssssted! you must see if you haven't already. i know i'm a little late on orphan but i just hadn't gotten around to seeing it yet, and when i finally did, i was so shocked it made the wait so worth it. seriously, it's crazy. seeing it was kind of funny. it was the middle of the day and i was the only person there, like literally, the only person. and even though it was broad daylight outside, being the ONLY person in a dark movie theater during a horror movie is a little creepy. later on i saw all about steve with arianne and krista. WORST MOVIE EVER. it was really, really, really stupid. but then we went to the cheesecake factory for dinner and that was really, really fun so it was all good.

you know what i was just thinking about? alice in chains. i love alice in chains. and i love them more in the fall for some reason. their sound just reminds me of fall colors. and it just sounds better in the fall. it doesn't fit quite right with other seasons. but you know what pisses me off? how alice in chains came back with a new singer after layne staley died. they should have just stopped. and if they wanted to keep performing, which makes sense, i mean they're all good musicians, especially jerry cantrell, he's totally talented, but they should've gotten another singer and started performing under a different name. not alice in chains. and even if they HAD to do that, they should've just had like one reunion tour and played the old stuff with the new singer just for the fans to like go to a concert and see the other guys and sing along to their favorite alice in chains songs, but they should not have started releasing NEW music with this NEW singer as alice in chains. because to me, they're not alice in chains anymore. they're a different group. i mean, they still have the same guys, and the same sound, but it's not the same...to me, a lead singer makes a group (except maybe in fall out boy, and wow i can't believe i brought THEM up in a discussion about alice in chains, but yeah, that's ANOTHER story, one that i'll actually probably never talk about because i don't really care about them, but still, you get the point, in alice in chains, layne staley was the lead singer and the FRONT MAN....maybe some people would say jerry cantrell was/is the frontman, but i would disagree). to me, alice in chains died when layne died. like nirvana died when kurt died. and sublime died when bradley died. the guys from nirvana kept doing their musical thing. obviously, dave grohl has the foo fighters. and krist novoselic had that band, sweet some number or another, i can't really remember, but he did. and the guys from sublime kept performing, under the name the long beach all stars, but they weren't sublime anymore without bradley. and to me, alice in chains is not alice in chains anymore without layne. and i kind of feel like they're disrespecting him a little bit by keeping going under that name with this new dude who's basically replacing him. layne staley is not just replaceable. i'm sorry. i know i'm ranting about something stupid. it just bothers me. i really like alice in chains. i'd go so far as to say that they're one of my favorite groups of all time. top ten definitely. they may not be exactly what kind of music i'm into at a given time, but i always have a love and respect for alice in chains. they're just good. they WERE good. now, i don't know what they are. their new stuff could totally rock but i refuse to listen to it, because they're saying it's alice in chains and to me it's not alice in chains. anyway. i'm moving on. i have other things i must do. i just felt like sharing this with you all. ha. sorry. later.

so i've officially decided that i like twilight again, after not liking it for a really long time because i was so horribly disappointed by the movie. but, after rewatching it several times in the past few days (yeah, i know...) i've decided that even though it isn't perfect, it still has it's place and it's alright. now, i'm not going to go all twilight crazy on you and post every single thing that has to do with twilight on here. that would just be impossible. twilight has pretty much taken over the world. remember back in tenth grade, when it was just us, passing around one or two copies of the book, reading it because it was so incredibly bad that that's what made it so good? ah, those were the days. now, you can't walk into giant eagle, blockbuster, hot topic (to the exxxxtreme), even sephora without being bombarded by twilight. it's kind of ridiculous. whatever. it's one of those things though that we (and you all know who you are) can all say that we actually liked it before it became so ridiculously saturated in our culture. it's kind of freaky. especially because so many of the new fans are so young! it's not like the books are graphic or "adult" necessarily, but they're kind of intense, i mean, the passion between edward and bella is insane, and there are definitely some adult things that are implied. i mean, even in the movie. it was pg-13 for a reason. when they're making out on her bed (i mean first of all, they're unsupervised, in her room, on her bed) they're like getting all into it like they're about to go at it, only to be stopped by edward's incredible desire to eat her (i mean as a meal, not um, you know, in the other way). whatever, now i'm rambling on about twilight. gosh. and all i meant to do was post this pic of the upcoming new moon promo crowns that will be hitting burger kings everywhere soon! check it out:

so you won't believe what i just did. i undid my ceiling. have you ever seen my ceiling? probably not. some of you who read this definitely have. but if you haven't, this is what it USED to look like:

now, that's an old picture, but it's looked basically like that for the past three and half years, just with different pictures every now and then. but i've never taken everything completely off. but i needed a change. so today i did. i think it's a good step to de-cluttering my life. my room's a lot brighter now. so that's good.

i did it while i watched just like heaven. that's my dog's favorite movie. it's one of my favorite movies, too. gosh, i love that movie. i love that SONG really! that song is definitely one of my favorites. definitely my favorite song by the cure. here it is so you can enjoy it, too:


it's actually a really sad song. about robert smith's love drowning. it's a true story. at least that's what i heard. let me look that up. ok, no, that's not true. it's not a sad song. his girlfriend or whatever never drowned. someone told me that he had a childhood sweetheart that drowned and he never got over it and that's what the song was about and i was like yeah okay that sounds eerily similar to lolita but whatever. but yeah, i just looked it up (on wikipedia, but say what you wanna say about wikipedia, i think it's a pretty reliable source!) and robert smith is married to his childhood sweetheart so she never drowned. and the song even has it's own wikipedia page and it says the song was inspired by a sea trip that robert smith took with his wife, aka his childhood sweetheart, but it was a romantic trip, not a tragic trip. that's good. because even though i'd heard that fake tragic story i'd always thought of the song as super romantic and wanted it to by like one of the songs that me and my future whatever consider "our" songs and like play it at our wedding or something. same with "love will tear us apart" by joy division. now, that song is actually kind of sad. ian curtis wrote it about problems he was having with his wife. it's especially sad since ian curtis's wife had it inscribed on his tomb stone after he committed suicide, making the song kind of tragically ironic for them i guess that lots of people (i'm guessing, considering the fact that it was even played as the first dance song at the wedding in the time traveler's wife), including myself, consider it such a romantic song (kind of, since at least some people know the story behind it, which IS true by the way). anywaaaaay. i'm rambling. have you ever seen "just like heaven" performed by afi? have i ever posted it here? i can't remember why i would have. but i should have at some point. it's so good. it was at an mtv tribute thing to the cure or something. but it's amaaaazing. this is actually one of the only afi songs my mom likes and i think davey's vocals, which i think are great all the time, are at his best in this performance. here it is:


anyway...i don't really have anything else to say. other than my head kind of hurts. that's all i suppose. for now at least.

you want some more?

some of my favorite pics from those good old times.

ah, another day.

what did i do today?

nothing too much really.

why am i using line spaces today when i haven't been for the past few days? i have no idea, it just felt right today. whatever....

i woke up. i ate. i went to church. i ate again. i worked out. i went back to church. then i ate again. fun, fun, fun.

there's something i've been thinking a lot about lately. this isn't new. i should have actually written about this a while ago. but i didn't want to write about it wrong. but then i realized that no matter how i write about it it's never going to be as good or as thorough as i want it to be and i'm never really going to be done writing about it. okay, now i'm just being overly dramatic. it's really not that big of a fucking deal, but here it goes.

it's about nick.

yes, i know, every summer i start getting all into nick again, which is true once again for this summer, but it really started a while ago. all through last semester, nick and i were talking really regularly and he was actually considering coming to visit me in dc. oh, for those of you that don't know, i guess i'll give some back story for nick. there are two stories as to how i met nick. one is true, one isn't. believe what you want to believe. if you don't know either, it's really not important. especially since it really doesn't matter now. anyway, nick and i were getting really close again. and we were both realizing that despite everything that's gone on between us in the three plus years that we've known each other, we're really compatible. we like a ton of the same stuff, and since we've known each other so long and talked so so much, we actually know a ton about each other. and i was really, genuinely starting to believe that something was going to happen, for real and for a while this time. i mean, he was basically treating it like we were in a relationship. we texted constantly, he would call me every day when he got off work, we would sent each other cute pics of ourselves on our phones. i'm not proud to admit it, but we were even using the l word. sigh. anyway, then one day, out of no where!, nick tells me something i really didn't expect. he's been dating a girl for a while time and he thinks maybe she could be a person he could settle down with so he feels like he should stop talking to me because it feels like cheating. now, you have to keep in mind that nick is older than i am, he's 24, he's in law school and yeah, he's actually thinking about settling down and getting married now. so we talked about it for a long time. he recognized that i'm a really special person to him, like he is to me, and we have a lot in common, maybe even more than him and his girlfriend do, but in all honesty, how do we even know if the connection in person is there? it could be perfect over the phone, through email, through instant messaging, but now, in person, there could be nothing. plus, i'm at a completely different part of my life. it was fun when i was in high school and he was in college. it was kind of forbidden, for a while, and cute and it was never anything that serious, but now, he's looking for something serious, and i get that. he said it would be too hard to keep talking to me because of all the history. and i said yeah, it probably would be. we both knew it would be hard for us to keep talking and be "just friends" because we'd always wonder if there was something there. he said that he'd always feel like he was cheating on this girl he was with, who he really wants to give things a shot with and i really actually am happy for him, if he kept talking to me. so we decided to stop talking. he changed his number and got a new phone so he wouldn't have my number anymore. he deleted his aim screen name (not that it would be hard for him to add me to his buddy list on his new one, but whatever, i guess that helps...). so we don't talk anymore. and it's really sad. sometimes i miss having that friend there, that person in my back corner that i always knew i could count on. no matter how rough things got or how alone i felt like i was or how few friends i felt like i had i always knew i could call up nick to catch up and he would be genuinely thrilled to hear from me. and now i don't have that. and it's seriously depressing. i'm tempted sometimes to do something crazy to "find him" because i miss him so much. his address isn't listed so i couldn't write. he knows my sn, but i don't know his new one and he's really trying to make his relationship work and he wants to get married and move on with his life so i doubt he'll ever give in and im me. he could've even blocked me on his new one or something so he won't see if i'm online, who knows..... i think sometimes that i could like take out a billboard, "searching for nick, please come back, i'm the one, not her!" or post something on craig's list or something, but then i come to my senses and decide just to let him be happy and when i think of him i just wish him the best. it just sucks not having that person there anymore. i lost a person i'd had to count on for a long time. and there was so much there. since we were never really "together" (well, i guess at some points we kind of were, but whatever...) we never really had a real breakup so there were never those bitter feelings between us. all of our memories together really were happy...well not all happy, we shared a lot of sad and emotional times from other things going on in our lives, but all of the memories were pleasant, i guess. and there were so many things, songs mostly, that were just me and nick's. some of the first songs we bonded over were "cross bones style" and "nude as the news" by cat power. he used to sing "i miss you" by blink 182 to me. and i always think of him when i hear that song. we used to love that video, too. sigh.

anyway. i just had to share that. i'm sure i'm not done writing about that. because it's been really weird. summer without nick.... just so strange.

anyway. i should go to bed soon.

and nick...if you're reading this....which i know you're not, but hey who ever really knows....i miss you.

so i'm basically just posting this because i'm procrastinating. sorry i haven't posted something real in forrrrevvvverrr. i still don't have a computer so i'm posting this on my stupid netbook. it's not really that stupid, it's kind of helpful, i just prefer my normal laptop because it's faster and i can do so much morrrrrrrrrrrre. i've been really depressed lately. especially now. i got a bad grade in one of my online courses. i just didn't understand it at all. i shouldn't have taken it. grrrr. whatever. i'll get it over it. i have knocked up right now. this movie is actually really funny. just the dialog. and jason segel's body movements. that guy is just so fucking hilarious. i'm not censoring myself anymore (was a i really ever?). fuck it, it's not like i talk like this in real life anyway, i'm quite good at censoring my mouth, but not my writing. whatever. so this is a random story. the other day i put this shirt on that i hadn't worn in like a really long time (to be honest i was kind of surprised that it still fit, but i guess it was kind of big before and it's sort of stretchy so i guess it makes sense). it's this camo shirt with like a pale pink rose on the chest, i didn't really wear it that much to school or anything, maybe just a few times, the only real significant time i wore it was new years eve 2005 and i don't really even have pictures from that and i'm not really sure if that many people were there that would've remembered it. anyway, i was wearing the shirt for like half an hour and then i was like woah, something smells really funky in our house...what the fuck is that...it smells like...pot. and i was like no i must be wrong, but then i sniffed my shirt and i was like wooooooooooah what the fuuuuck why the fuck does my shirt smell like fucking pot?!?!?! and then i realized, i must not have washed this shirt the last time i wore it. and i was like wait when did i last wear this shirt??? it must have been to a concert at one point because that's the only time i'm (usually) in a room filled with pot smoke, considering the fact that i don't actually smoke. and i'm like 99% sure that i didn't wear it that night my friends hot boxed my car (thanks guys, that was truly a special evening...in case you didn't realize that was dripping with sarcasm.) but then i was like what the hell concert did i wear this to??? it definitely wasn't in the past year, because i totally didn't wear that shirt in a long time and i didn't go to any concerts really the year before that because i was too sick (except for sufjan stevens and broken social scene and i remember what i wore to both of those). so i was like...what concert did i fucking wear this to? and then i was like wait, i think i wore this to kill hannah...that was in april of 2006. that means i hadn't washed that shirt in 3 fucking years. but then i was like wait, i totally wore that shirt one time at work camp. so i probably washed it after that (at least i should have, but it's highly unlikely that i didn't). so anyway, i guess the point of this story is (other than i might not wash my clothes frequently enough) the smell of pot smoke lingers for an incredibly long time. and anyone who tells you that the smell of doesn't linger is fucking lying to you. anyway, i'm watching this movie and it just got really gross. that sex scene between katherine heigl and seth rogen could seriously just not have happened. they could have just implied that they had sex. i really didn't need to see that. thanks a lot judd apatow. anyway, i really actually have to do this paper. so peace out.

okay everyone, SO SORRY about not posting in THREE WEEKS!!!! wtf, can't believe this happened.....anyway, so much has gone down, my computer broke so now i'm using this little netbook which is pretty small and slow and stuff so yeah...and i had classes and work to do, so crazzzzy! i don't know where to even start with anything...i guess i'll just be mentioning random things for a while....so much has changed....so much is still the same...now i'm being emo, hahaha. anyway, nick and i aren't friends anymore. he has a girlfriend right now and he thinks he might want to get serious with her and it's too hard for him to talk to me because we both really like each other (the way things are now) but we don't know what would actually happen if we met up face to face at this point and i guess we're both scared to know and he said he couldn't always have the possibility of me being "the one" or whatever in the back of his mind.... this has been really kind of weird for me because we were starting to get so close again and now it's just....whatever. i'm sure i'll write more about this later. anyway, it's like an hour until my birthday...yippee, lol! more later, lots of love! -megan.

ok, i know a TON of songs by heart, but here are the ones i can think of off the top of my head... (and i'm not even kidding about any of these, you can test me, i'm like really good at memorizing songs...)

"smells like teen spirit," "lithium," "in bloom," "come as you are," "sliver," "you know you're right," "verse chorus verse," and basically any other nirvana song.....

"celebrity skin," "awful," "violet," "miss world," yeah i went through a hole phase, too, so basically that entire catalog.

"whatta man," salt n pepa.

"silver and cold," "malleus maleficarum," "girl's not grey," "this celluloid dream," "brownie bottom sundae," "file 13," a ton of afi...definitely all of sing the sorrow.

"infected," bad religion.

"head like a hole," nine inch nails.

"don't fear the reaper," blue oyster cult.

"nuthin but a g thing," dr. dre.

"mono," courtney love.

"you don't own me," lesley gore.

"i will follow him," little peggy march.

"california love," tupac.

"runaway," del shannon.

"why do fools fall in love," frankie lymon.

"teenager in love," dion.

"runaround sue," dion.

"fuck you," lil kim.

"will you still love me tomorrow," the shirelles.

"party lights," claudine clark.

"mama said," the shirelles.

"picture to burn," taylor swift.

"settlin," sugarland.

"the lion sleeps tonight," the tokens.

"the boys are back in town," thin lizzy.

"strutter," kiss.

"jack and diane," john mellencamp.

"jump around," house of pain.

"back from the dead," house of pain.

"without love," hairspray.

"don't trust me," 3OH!3

"jane fonda," "friends and lovers," "my dick," "so rich so pretty," "dipped in vaseline," "mr. right," "fuck'n em all," "waitin to die," mickey avalon.

"irreplaceable," beyonce.

"99 problems," jay-z.

"hands down," "rapid hope loss," "as lovers go," "vindicated," dashboard confessional.

"where the boys are," connie francis.

"frankie," "love/hate," betty blowtorch.

"kiss my ass goodbye," 7 year bitch.

"face down," red jumpsuit apparatus.

"goodbye earl," dixie chicks.

"summertime," billie holliday.

"heaven is a place on earth," belinda carlisle.

"livin' on a prayer," bon jovi.

"ice ice baby," vanilla ice.

"wicked game," chris isaak.

"bills, bills, bills," destiny's child.

"i will follow you into the dark," death cab for cutie.

"boogie woogie bugle boy," andrews sisters.

"dream lover" bobby darin.

"summer of 69," bryan adams.

"edge of seventeen," stevie knicks.

"bohemian rhapsody," queen.

"just like heaven," the cure.

"the boy from new york city," the ad libs.

"december 1963," the four seasons.

"hypnotize," biggie.

"let it go," keyshia cole.

"fever," peggy lee.

"ghost of tom joad," rage against the machine.

"what's your fantasy," ludacris.

anything by sam cooke or ben e. king.

i'm going through a very serious megan at age 15/16 year 2006ish phase right now. which isn't bad because that was one of the happiest times of my life. looking back i like most parts of my life except for one. delete that and mostly all my memories would be happy. it's just that i have to put so much energy into forgetting that part because that's really how my life ended up where it is today because that affected me so much. which i guess isn't that strange. because it was so traumatic and all. it's normal for someone that's had to go through it. i just wish i hadn't. that's why i like to remember the other times. the times before and the times after. anyway, here's the throwback vid, gotta love davey!!!:

i'm really divided.

i loved twilight...

...until breaking dawn.

honestly, i'm worried the movie is going to ruin it entirely for me.

i don't know.

i'm still not sure if i even like kristen stewart as bella.

and i feel like the movie looks really dark.

idk...

we'll see...

i'm definitely not seeing it this weekend, because i kind of want to avoid all of the crazy little fan girls.

i went to the release party for breaking dawn...

that was weird.

i felt old.

and really, it made sense.

twilight was something i loved in 10th grade...

i'm not really sure i feel the same connection to it any more.

it was fun...

...but for me, it's kind of over.

oh boy...here we go.....

(please note, this list is highly subject to change and is not necessarily in correct order because i love all of them too much to do the perfect ranking!!!)

runner-up: "three cheers for sweet revenge" my chemical romance. yeah, whatever, they're emo and kind of lame, but at the time, this was one of the greatest albums i'd ever owned. all the tracks were great, to me they were a completely new sound, and it was really what i needed at the time.


10. "for never and ever" kill hannah. this was just one of those albums that you i could just play straight through and not even skip tracks, which to me is kind of a big thing because i tend to skip all the time. just a really good overall album.


9. "adore" smashing pumpkins. i feel like i'm the only person who considers this a masterpiece. but seriously, this album is great. from beginning to end.


8. "mellon collie and the infinite sadness" smashing pumpkins. AAAAAH! amazing. another album i love listening to straight through...so many GREAT tracks came out of this...."tonight, tonight," "zero," "bullet with butterfly wings," "1979," and so many others. the title of this album also inspired by alter-ego which i referred to myself as for over a year...but let's not talk about that...


7. "good mourning" alkaline trio. the album that really got me into alk3. it's so gloomy and somber and melancholy and dark. so me at 15. so fabulous.


6. "live through this" hole. there's no denying it...i was obsessed with this album in 9th grade. i still love some of the tracks. they're really powerful. this is courtney love at her best.


5. "mtv unplugged in new york" nirvana. i don't really know if this counts as an album or not, because it was really just a show that was recorded. but it's one of the most powerful things i've heard heard/seen in my entire life. it was taped months before kurt died, and if you've never seen it in it's entirety i highly recommend checking it out.


4. "a mark, a mission, a brand, a scar" dashboard confessional. so emo, but so great. this is such a perfect summer album. summer of 2006 this was all that played in my car. another one of those albums where you can play it straight through and never get sick of it. ever.


3. "goddamnit!" alkaline trio. the first and best alkaline trio album. i loved the concert where they played the album straight through. gosh i love this album. all the songs kind of sound the same, but that's kind of the beauty of it, because they're all so great.


2. "sing the sorrow" afi. say what you want about it, but i love it. all the hidden messages and secret tracks...it was so much fun to follow the "mystery" and all of the tracks are fantastic....every afi album is great in my opinion and they all have some tracks that have become some of my favorite songs of all time (with the exception of decemberunderground because that really didn't do it for me), but this is the one album of their's where EVERY song is great. all their albums, however, are close runners-up.


1. "nevermind" by nirvana. the album that started it all for me. i feel like this album has a place on a lot of people's top 10. it's just...perfect.

whyyyyy did i take personal finance?????

why on earth are we talking about standard deviation??? i thought i tested out of statistics!!!! i don't want to go through this torture again!!!!!

why did i eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at lunch? it sounded so good at the time, but it doesn't feel good now.

is sasha pavlovic going to get some minutes tomorrow night??? he better....

is my sasha pavlovic bobblehead ever going to come??? i hate the mail....

who's going to win this election? is it even worth worrying about? don't we kind of know the answer? do i even care anymore?

what will victoria do if obama doesn't win?

how come free food is never gluten-free????

why did all of these german people just take the chairs from my table??? without asking....

why does it always rain on election days?

am i really going to stay up until all the results are in????

whatever...

great halloween movie. how could i forget it???? it was basically my movie of fall sophomore year. love it.

my favorite month. there are just some things that are so...october, you know?

so i think i'm going to do a series of things that remind me of october...starting with, my favorite "october" movies. some of these movies have nothing to do with the actual month of october, they just feel like october to me.

october sky.

of course, this is because it has october in the title, and also because it just feels like october to me, probably because it's called october sky...hard to tell if it's just because of the title or not, but it's a great story, and you know i love history and the 1950s...and it's so sad! and homer is hot, jake gyllenhaal all the way!

national treasure.

i always felt like this movie took place in the fall, especially the scene where they're shopping at urban outfitters...they pick out very fall clothes. and this is just one of my favorite movies of all time.

twitches.

I LOVE THIS MOVIE! it's so much fun! and it's october all around! i mean, it obviously takes place in october so the awesome halloween funness and scenery is just spectacular! and i've always loved tia and tamera! i remember when this movie came out in october 05, one of my favorite octobers ever!

twitches too.

of course. it's just as much...if not more...fun than the first! and just as cute too!

hocus pocus.

when i was little, i was so afraid of this movie! but then, when i was like 7, i was like omg hocus pocus rocks! and it really does! it is probably one of the most fun halloween movies of all time! i love the whole salem with trials/historical aspect of it, and max is totally hot in that 90s way, and thackary is kind of hot in that 1600s way....

sleepy hollow.

this movie is so typically tim burton. so creepy, yet so good. i love the imagery...the entire town of sleepy hollow is just so like creepy and stark but i totally love it. this movie IS october. and i love christina ricci, as we all know....and yes, johnny depp is in it as well :).

the hollow.

i'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that most people have never seen this movie...let alone heard of it. it's with nick carter (yeah, i know...), kaley cuoco (one of my fave girls), and kevin zegers (so hot!). it's another take on sleepy hollow in like a fun teen thriller really not scary but kind of trying to be sort of way. it's about kids that live in the town of sleepy hollow, which is like still obsessed with the legend and then kevin zegers finds out that he's a descendent of icabod crane. it's super fun.

breakfast at tiffany's.

ah, what a lovely, glamorous movie. that does, indeed, take place in the fall, in october i think, because when they're stealing things at the store there are halloween masks! ah, this is just such a good movie! it makes me feel happy and nice! and i love the soundtrack, moon river forever!!!!!

children of the corn.

i don't know why, but this movie is like my all time guilty pleasure. i just love it. it's so lame, but it's hilarious, the kids are just so crazy! isaac and malachai, hahahahahaha. and i just love the part where the girl is in the room listening to "runaway" by del shannon....i love that song!!!!!! and it just holds a special place in my heard because mr. hastings used to call our class his little children of the corn in 11th grade english :).

casper.

retro christina ricci! i love her as kat! this is suuuuuch a fun movie!!!!! so cute! and i always though that vic and real life casper were kind of cute! and that's not weird because this movie came out when i was five!!!!!!!

casper meets wendy.

retro hilary duff! katie and i loved this movie when i was like 8! i remember my grandma getting it for us at rite aid after my after school french class one day...the best! this movie is pretty crappy, but it's like even more fun than the first!

harry potter and the sorcerer's stone.

i know this movie spans over an entire school year, but this is an october movie all the way. does anyone else LOVE the scene in the dining hall during halloween when the jack-o-lanterns are like floating in the air??? and the food always looks so good, especially in that scene! that alone made me want to go to hogwarts!!!!

the covenant.

yeah, okay, so maybe this is a crappy movie, but come on, how bad is it really? great fall setting in new england...creepy story of witchcraft...lots of places that make you jump...good music (white zombie <3<3<3)...and um, HOT GUYS! chace crawford, taylor kitsch, steven strait, tobey hemingway...yuuuum!

urban legend.

kind of creepy, but totally fun in that scary, teen thriller kind of way. and um, joshua jackson and jared leto are totally hot. and idk, there's just something about a college campus that says fall.

teen witch.

classic disney at it's best. with blake lively's older sis! i love how this was originally a sequel to teen wolf...ha. i love this movie though! i heard they might remake it, with ashley tisdale!

marie antoinette.

maybe it's the macabre aspect of the young french queen...or the fall woods where she's transformed from a young austrian girl into marie antoinette...or maybe it's that there's a sex scene set to bauhaus...idk, i just really like this movie...visually. like i could watch it on mute or just have it play in the background of a party or something...but it has good music, too. i just love the costumes, the scenery, the decadance...

halloweentown.

the original. not the second. hated it. halloweentown high was okay, not as bad as kalabar's revenge, but still not the original. i refused to see return to halloweentown because they replaced the original marnie with sara paxton, but now that it's october! i might reconsider just because i'm in the mood to watch any and all halloween movies. but anyway i love this movie. that's like my dream...to live in a town where it's always halloween. and after i saw this, i was just like waiting to find out i'm really a witch!

corpse bride.

sometimes i feel like no one else liked this movie. true, i didn't like it as much as the nightmare before christmas, but it's still fun and i loooove the music!

the little vampire.

such a lame, yet such a good halloween movie. so fifth grade for me! that was one of my favorite octobers, the first one in our new neighborhood, classic autumn!!!! anyway, i love like the scottish setting and the old costumes and stuff....and jonathan lipnicki was so cute!

the nightmare before christmas.

of course. a classic. one of my favorite halloween and christmas movies. i love the story, and the songs, and it's just so good!

monster house.

i love watching this movie while babysitting. it's so cute. and it has some grown up elements in it too. some of it's really dumb, but overall i was pleasantly surprised by this movie.

the scream team.

no, not the cavs hip hop squad...the terribly underrated disney channel original movie, with kat dennings!!!! omg, i love this movie, i wish that they would show this more often!

mom's got a date with a vampire.

i probably just like caroline rhea because i'm fat, but whatever, imo, this is another great dcom halloween flick! i love the random rockabilly club that they go to, and you know i love vampires. i remember watching this on a friday night in fifth grade before a swim meet the next day. that was the first night i ever had chipotle. weird, i know, but i remember it.

phantom of the megaplex.

dcoms rule when it comes to halloween. you know i love the movies so this has always been fun for me...plus mickey rooney is great!!!! and when i was younger i thought the kid was cute!

under wraps.

this dcom is never on, but i remember seeing it at my old house when it first came out...i remember going on a walk in daisy hill that day and kim from down the street was babysitting us...it's a fun movie.

tower of terror.

i love this movie, because it's got the whole retro-glamour-historical side, with the swing music and all, and i also love kirsten dunst..and morgan from boy meets world!

interview with the vampire.

so good. the historical costumes and sets are fabulous, and kirsten dunst is great as mini-vampire claudia...oh, and brad pitt is the sexiest vampire ever.

the haunted mansion.

love the movie as much as i love the ride (when it's not broken, which it seems to be quite often these days....). but this movie is just so cute and fun! i remember seeing it with my cousin when i was in 8th grade and actually being kind of like woah! at some parts, and i enjoyed it so much that i saw it again with my dad, and i saw my math teacher there, like with his five year old son, and i remember thinking wow i'm too old for this movie but i totally love it...yeah....

just like heaven.

for some reason this is absolutely a fall movie. maybe it's like fall when she's in the garden at the beginning, idk, but it just seems fallish to me...and because it's all supernatural and stuff! and it's riley's favorite movie!!!! i miss you little buddy!!!

beetlejuice.

sometimes i'm like wow i hate this movie it's so lame, but other times i'm like omg i love it...and sometimes i'm like okay, i love it for this one reason: my whole life is a dark room. one. big. dark. room.

the addams family.

gotta love a creepy family...especially one with a mom named morticia...i love that name :).

the craft.

this movie is soooooo crazy. but i kind of love it....in a weird way. like it's a pretty terrible movie, but it's just so wonderfully creepy!

halloween: h20.

for some reason i really like THIS halloween the best...maybe it's because it's like modern and i can actually remember when it came out...and josh hartnett's in it and he's not like completely terrible!!!! i mean it totally beats the halloween before it (the curse of michael meyers) because they totally messed everything up from 4 and 5 because they didn't recast danielle harris. i actually like 4 and 5, too, because i like jamie, and a guy from my church wrote one of them, i think it was 5. of course the original is good, but 2 and 3, especially, suck...and then there's resurrection...with tyra banks. ha. best part of that movie: busta rhymes- "trick or treat...motherfucker." HAHAHAHAHAHA! yeah but h20 is the best...and don't even get me started about rob zombie's remake, as far as i'm concerned that is NOT part of the series.

scream 2.

definitely the BEST of the series!!!! i love how they're at colege...as i've said before, college campuses are just soooo fall!!!! and this one has the best cast for sure, with sarah michelle gellar (total scream queen), jerry o'connell, rebecca gayheart (she's so underrated), joshua jackson, omar epps, neve campbell (who just gets better with age), jada pinkett smith, tori spelling, luke wilson, heather graham, portia de rossi, and of course jamie kennedy (who, btw, is teaching a film class at kent). i also love how matthew lillard makes a cameo at a party...when his character totally died in the first movie!!!! love it...so much better than the third which is totally overly corny. scream 3 definitely could've been good because it's when everything kind of comes together and the whole mystery is revealed but courteney cox's hair looks crazy and parker posey just makes the whole thing lame...but i do love patrick dempsey, jenny mccarthy, jay and silent bob, and kelly rutherford. but yeah, love the sorority house scene with smg...it's such a nice house! it makes me wish that we had sorority houses here, but we don't because of dc brothel laws...true story.

a cinderella story.

one of my favorite movies ever...sooo cute! i love hilary duff! and chad michael murray is SO HOT! and yeah, loooove the halloween homecoming dance! her dress is sooooo GORGEOUS! and regina king and jennifer coolidge are great in this movie too!

and i saw the pineapple express again last night, this time with victoria.

i'm sorry, but i absolutely love that movie...

and yeah, basically i still think that there's no point of angie in the movie at all, other than to have some girl in the movie, and i've decided that the first scene is totally and completely pointless, though i did realize that that place where they are in that scene is the place where they are later in the movie, too, but that's dumb and totally unnecessary, and i also think that the action/fight scenes are a little bit too long, especially that one in the barn, i mean they could have edited that to make it about a third of the length that it was and just had the funny parts in it, but whatever...so i was basically a lot more critical of the movie this time but it was still hilarious...and i was still the loudest person in the theater and it was a lot more awkward this time because it was a lot less crowded.

and i've decided that i'm officially in love with james franco...move over sasha pavlovic, a new man has my heart!!! no, i'm just kidding, sasha pavlovic still remains at the top of my list of love interests, but james franco has always been on the list, seriously he was on the future husbands list, first edition, grade 10, but he's definitely like in my top five now, because in this movie he just proved that not only is he incredibly sexy and smart and totally talented but he's also really fucking funny!!!!!!!! and i'm pretty much in love with his character, saul silver, because he's just so sweet and nice and cares so much about his bubbie, it's so cute!!!! but yeah, that movie's great.

ah, today, i'm just chilling....went to the mall, got a REALLY CUTE pink guess peacoat...totally excited!!!! and an adorable pine green cashmere sweater dress! i can't wait for fall weather now!!!!!

alright, well i'm going to go shower now...tata...

it's just way too long, and it takes forever to make it look nice. the only way i wear it is just thrown up on top of my head and that's getting really boring. want something more chic, so that when i want to look nice it doesn't take me seven hours to style it...i know it looks really nice when i curl it and blahblahblah, but how often do i actually do that??? and it's way to thick to maintain this length. so, please don't make fun of me for who i am getting my hair cut modeled after, i just really like her cut...and besides, anytime i want to wear my hair long, i can get extensions...actually, this person has her own line of extensions, ha...here it is:


and it can even be curly:

and i can put it up:

see, i had my hair short before, two years ago, when i got a "nicole richie meets courtney love" haircut:

this is such a good show. i can't believe how incredibly lame it is, i mean the stereotypes of high school are through the roof, but i absolutely love it.

brenda hampton is so jesus crazy. i know that sounds kind of mean, but she is...i mean, 7th heaven was so jesuscentric and so is the secret life, but whatever, i love it....i mean, i adored 7th heaven, i'm not going to lie about that...the first five seasons...amazing.

anyway.

this show is getting so juicy.

does anyone else watch it????? because i feel like no one does...but you need to, it's so good! and i need people to talk about it with.

so let's talk about this week's episode.

do we think that amy's dad is having an affair??? if so, with whom???? grace's mom??? or someone else??? i know who it is. wikipedia has major spoilers. but i won't post that here. if you watch the episode and think about the timing and listen to some off-camera voices in some certain scenes (hint hint) you can figure out who he's having an affair with. i just think that he's a megajerk and i don't really like him.

i loooooove ashley. i just think she's a brilliant character. so sarcastic and cynical. fabulous!!!! and the actress, india eisley, is so beautiful!!! she's olivia hussey's daughter, you might remember her from that risque 1968 version of romeo and juliet??? lol, we watched that in 9th grade english and mrs. fitz covered the screen at some parts!!!

i also love grace. in the pilot, when she's telling everyone about the post-game party at her church? yeah, that was me in 9th and 10th grade. that's what i used to do...all the time. we would have lock ins on friday nights after football games and i would be like omigod you have to come to this party afterward, it's not religious or anything, it's just super fun! basically it was just a big party with lots of games without alcohol and drugs...notice how i didn't say without sex...that story's for another time....but i really love that actress, too, megan park...and not just because her name is megan, lol. she's adorable, she was also in charlie bartlett (terrible movie, but she was still super cute) and one of my favorite lifetime movies ever, she's too young.

i'm starting to really feel bad for adrian. she's always alone, because her mom is a flight attendant, and that sucks, so she ends up getting in trouble. i feel like she's actually a good person and she's really smart, but she's just acting out. ha, i love how they play the "seductive" music whenever she walks by, it's so funny.

i absolutely adore ricky. i'm not going to lie, i'm seriously attracted to him. a.) he looked super sexy without his shirt on. b.) i feel bad for him. he's the playboy and jerk he is because of his messed up childhood, and i feel so bad for him! i feel like he's really, really a good person and he just needs to work through his problems. if i want anyone to be a couple on this show, it's grace and ricky. i used to want amy and ricky to be together, but i don't know...amy's starting to annoy me.

so now about amy. obviously, i feel bad for her. she got herself into a bad situation, but she's really just a good girl who's really immature. she can't keep her baby, i'm just putting that out there. it's not like she even has a good home to bring it into and parents to help her because her parents' marraige is falling apart. i have a feeling she will give the baby up for adoption...that's really where i feel the show is leading.

i don't really like ben at all. he's so immature. and he's always saying he "loves" amy. really, his relationship with amy reminds me a lot of my relationship with frankie...of course, i wasn't pregnant or any of that, but it was still a really immature relationship at the beginning of high school when we were both too young to actually know what love and all that was and tricked ourselves into believing it was something a lot more serious than it was and then we both ended up getting hurt. but that's not important.

i also don't like jack at all. i think he's a jerk. i don't have any pity toward him. he's just not a good person..that's how i see him so far at least...maybe my opinion of him will change as his character is developed a little more. he's kind of hot, but not really. i find ricky much more attractive.

of course i love renee olstead being on the show...i don't really have an opinion about her character or her other friend...but i really don't like renee's haircut on this show...i lovedddddd her long, flowing red hair on still standing!!!!! but whatever, she's still an adorable girl and i just hope she gets a chance to sing sometime on this show and show off that AMAZZZZING voice of her's!!!!!!

and i just love molly ringwald in this. she's such a beautiful woman. and she's really doing a great job of playing a mom role!! go molly!!!

so after this week's episode, these are the questions i am left with:

is mr. juergens having an affair or not??? does he still hold feelings for grace's mom??? does she have feelings for him?? will amy ever tell ben that she's pregnant?? will she ever tell her parents??? will mr. juergens leave his family??? will ricky ever know that amy is having his baby???? will grace and ricky get together??? will ricky and amy get together???? will adrian and jack ever have more than just a physical relationship??? will grace abandon her good-girl ways?? will grace's parents leak amy's secret??? aaaaah, so much going on!!!!! love it!

preview for next week:

today was pretty good. i got up really early. and i did some grocery shopping. and had a doctor's appointment. then i had lunch at red robin. then i hung out with kevin. we saw the incredible hulk. again. love it. every time i see that movie i fall more in love with edward norton...and i become more convinced that liv tyler is a really good actress and never ages....seriously, she doesn't. anyway. after that we hung out for a while, walked around at a few stores, then we had dinner at rockne's. now i'm at home. i talked to nick tonight. i called his old number. it worked. i thought he had a new number. but he doesn't. it made me really happy to talk to him. i can't help but think of him. the last good summer i had was spent thinking about him. and it was one of the best summers of my life.....lately, i've been thinking about another summer. a summer i don't talk a lot about. the summer everything changed. i heard smells like teen spirit on the radio. and all the memories came back. of how it felt when i first started getting into nirvana. when i was so intrigued by kurt. it was all so different and new. it was fun. then yesterday at the cardiologist i was watching shrek 2 while i was getting my ultrasound, and i couldn't help but think about that summer again. i remember seeing that movie at the end of 8th grade with caroline and jessica right before summer started. i was so thin then. i was perfect. at least that's how i remember being. i remember that song, the one from the movie. accidentally in love. it was so popular that summer. it had that bizarre music video with the girl from the pussycat dolls and the donkey. but it was such a good song. i remember listening to that song in the car driving through new mexico with my family on the way to the ranch. i sang along to it and my dad said he really liked the song. and i was secretly thinking how the song was like my life. how i had accidentally fallen in love (or so i'd thought) with a boy i'd never though i could fall in love with. i'm being lame now. i'll move on. it's just that i have such a strong memory. i can remember every word, every emotion, every thought. sometimes it's a blessing, sometimes it's a curse.

anyway.

i'm watching the secret life of the american teenager right now and i can't help but think...the secret life of WHAT american teenager????? i just went through four years of high school and high school is really not like that at all!!!! well, at least not orange high school. if we had any crazy christian people like grace, i guess it was me, i mean the first two years, i was always going around promoting church parties like that, but that was then. but the rest of it really isn't that accurate. i love how renee olstead (from still standing) is in it. i think she's so cute!!!! and she's an incredible singer! i also love how molly ringwald is in it. hahaha, gotta love molly.

ah, i'm actually getting kind of tired. maybe i'm getting on more of a normal sleep schedule. we'll see.

so how excited am i that the spill canvas are starting to get really famous?? it's so awesome! the spill canvas were basically the soundtrack of my summer 2006. and now they're like on top of the charts! i love their video for their hit song, "all over you," check it out!