45 minutes to go...i'm just kidding, i'm just really hoping this goes well!!!!

so anyway, caroline's was really fun last night...there was no drama and it seemed like for a little while none of the bad stuff ever happened...just to make things clear nothing bad ever really happened with my friends, i just distanced myself from my friends because bad stuff happened to me and i didn't really feel like sharing it with them, so i kind of isolated myself...but i actually really do like my friends, i just haven't spent as much time with them in the last four years as i used to when things were easier and they could know everything that was going on because nothing was really that bad. anyway...i realized that i miss those days, when things were so much easier and more innocent, but it's significant that i realized this because for so long i've been like ugh i'm not going to miss high school at all i just want to get the fuck out of here! and that's completely true. i have quite a few memories of fun times from the first two years of high school and even some from the past two years, but the days i'm really going to miss are those days when we just sat around at a sleepover and none of us really hated each other, and no one had ever gone through anything really terrible, and we were all pretty much the same because we were so naive and no one had changed yet or grown up before the group and then fallen out of step with everyone...those are the days i miss, and i missed that even in high school, so it's not going to be any different in college...i'm not saying i'm not going to miss my friends, but if i miss them, which in a way i have for a while now, i'm used to missing them and the days of innocence already so it's not going to be something terribly tragic, so yeah...

anyway.

i won another contest today. i got tickets to see an advance screening of henry poole is here. i don't really know a whole lot about that movie, but luke wilson is in it (yum yum!...can't believe i just said that...) here's the trailer, do you think it looks good???
Henry Poole is Here


i still don't know if i want to see american teen. krista made a good point, that it's just following a bunch of kids around high school, and we already went through high school, and we're done with it...but there's just some kind of strange draw to high school movies (even though high school in reality pretty much sucks) that i think i'll feel even when i'm like a twentysomething...or at least i hope i do, because i really like silly little movies...here's the trailer for that:

maybe i'll go see that this evening...with my new haircut...that hopefully looks good....

fucking weird dream last night. fucking fucking weird. there were two parts. part one is more boring so i’ll start with that. for some reason it all centered around a grocery store that was like the local after school hang out. of course, because i’m terribly anti-social, i would never really go there and i wasn’t really in on the whole hanging out at the grocery store after school thing. but one day i decided to go there with ashia, arianne, caroline, and the crowd and they all thought they were soooo cool because they would just hang out for hours and hours at the grocery store after school. well, i decided that i really wanted a cupcake and i wanted to eat the frosting off of the cupcake. but then i decided i needed two. so i went to a checkout line to pay for the cupcakes, and i was like expecting them to be four dollars or something, but the jackass at the cash register goes...it’s ten cents, just kidding! it’s twenty-one dollars. and i was like wtf twenty-one dollars for two fucking cupcakes, and he was like yeah they’re luxury cupcakes. and i was trying to explain that i didn’t have twenty-one dollars and i just really wanted the cupcakes so i could eat the frosting and then right in front of me the guy takes MY cupcakes and starts eating the frosting off with a fork. and i like freak out and go to tell the manager and he tells like the general manager and then i was like omg i probably got this guy fired...and claudia fired too, because for some reason she like worked at the cash register with the guy or something. and then i was like omg, i’m late for the soccer game, even though i didn’t really play anymore i was like the team trainer and it was like a district tournament and mr. boyle was the coach and sent out a memo that no one else besides family, boyfriends, and megan could come and watch so i decided i better go, so i went but then i was bored and really wanted grape juice, so i went and visited my grandma in this weird luxurious apartment she had underground and she was telling me how she was going to this really swanky wedding and they sent her an outfit to wear and she had to dye her hair blue to match it, and i was like no grandma don’t, so we found a way to match the outfit to her without dying her hair. then...all of a sudden i was like grandma i have to go! benson and stabler need me!!! so i like ran out and there was like this shoot out thing with this young kid who they were trying to catch and it was on a spiral staircase and the kid was off his rocker.

so that was part one. part two was insane. okay so i guess i was part of this totally bizarre club at my school that had a project once a year where you go to someone’s house like as a surprise and clean it and they totally can’t know about it. so i was assigned to clean this really rich palestinian (i think, or something like that) guy’s house, and everyone was like that’s not like a house it’s a hotel, people come and go out of there 24/7. so i was like ok, cool, this is going to be like impossible to clean the place without the guy knowing. and also it was like totally dangerous for me to go there because it was like forbidden that i associate with these people. so all secretly i enlisted the help of his two teenage sons to get in and out of the building and clean it without his knowing and making it look like i wasn’t associating myself with these people. so i went to the place and it was like this crazy retro sixties like hotel thing and people of this culture or whatever were coming in and out all the time. so i met the younger son, who happened to be sal mineo, outside the place and he helped me get upstairs to like their penthouse suite. so he was the only one home and he was showing me around and stuff and trying to help me not to get caught. then all the house was clean and we still had some time and all of a sudden we started kissing, and i was thinking like no, i shouldn’t it’s forbidden, but i really wanted to anyway and we were like realizing that we really liked each other and it turned from like to being madly in love in like two minutes and then his dad was coming home so he had to sneak me out of the place. then i went home and i was changing my clothes in my room, and then from my big front window i could see this minivan in front of my house and there was this freshman standing in it with a megaphone, and i guess he was in the club too and he was the one assigned to clean my house, and he started screaming megan jarrett you suck at this, you’re not supposed to be home and now i know you know who you’re person is. and i was like oh whatever, screw it, i have to get back to the place to see sal. so the plan was that his older brother would meet me in the back of the building and we would walk to the front and he would get me upstairs without people knowing i was there. so we got to the elevator and we were the only ones in there and so we could finally talk and he was like so you really love my brother, and i was like yeah i think i do, and he was like you guys are soooo perfect together, you just radiate happiness, and i was like yeah he makes me really happy, and he was like just so you know i think this whole thing of it being forbidden for you to be with us is totally stupid. and so we went upstairs and his brother was like we need to plan a way for you two to escape and get married, and i looked at sal and smiled and we kissed and i was thinking like god i love him so much, this is perfect even if it is wrong. and then i woke up.

and yeah, sal mineo was sicilian, so i was almost right.